| | Last night. . .
i went to this really amazing open mic thingy that this guy from my school hosted in his home. . and it was everything i never knew i always wanted. ha. . i just like that phrase. .but really, it had the potential to be really bad- lots of people who i don't really know- and i can be awkward socially at times. . also there was the potential and desire to play some songs i've written. . which public sharing - i have a love hate relationship with it. . love the attention, hate the exposure/vulnerability. . but i knew if i didn't do anything i'd feel kinda . .. disappointed, and THEN would blame it on the fact that people don't WANT me, and then think, but why would they- and instead of going down THAT depressing trap and lie, i got up and sang a song  . .
and people were very lovely and gracioius. .and that was amazing. . AND equal to or better than that, i got to sit in the presence and hear songs and poetry from some amazingly talented people. . i wish i could describe it to you .. it was holier than i thought it was gonna be . . . and a lot like i wish church was. .we were kinda crowded, some sat on couches, some on the floor, some stood in the back . . and everyone was straining to see. . the beauty that people shared. . a piece of themselves, a bit of their soul, and you could see God shining through. . . that may sound cheesy. . but, it doesn't make it less true. . . there was anticipation in the air- maybe that was it, like anything could happen, could be bestowed upon us, and it was ALL gift. maybe that was it. . anticipation- i rarely go to church with a sense of anticipation- i know what's gonna happpen. . it's so scripted. . i'm not saying there's no life in liturgy- and i mean liturgy in a broad sense as my church isn't traditionally liturgical .. but the God I read about. . the God who i know to exist. . .is not so much expected . . but rather surprising and raw and dangerous, and a spectacle in every sense of the word. and those were God's people. . i think of David dancing half(?) naked, and Hosea marrying a whore, and Jesus letting a prostitute wash his feet with her hair. . . . things like this, make me say in the most humble way God's crazy!!. . and wonderful. . and i like being around him. . |
| | Posted 11/17/2007 8:41 PM - 90 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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